Camp Why Am I Here?
by MrSpoonLovesYou
Summary: Summer Camp was soul crushing. Or at least, that's what they thought.


It had taken all of Roxas' willpower not to shout obscenities at his mother.

The only thought that ran through his brain when he heard the news was one of anguish and 'Why God! WHY?'. There was a simple answer to his pain and suffering, but it had nothing to do with God. Mrs. Strife knew exactly what she was doing when she told her three boys, and her daughter, where they would be spending two weeks of the summer.

Summer Camp.

"Mum! You can't send me to _summer camp._" He pleaded, the only one of the Strife siblings to even attempt to change his mother's mind. "I'll be good! I'll clean the kitchen! I'll _tidy my room."_

"While that is a very attractive offer, Roxas, It's not good enough. You're all going to camp, whether you like it or not." Mrs. Strife answered, moving into the lounge, "Besides, It'll be fun."

"But-"

"Give it up."

"But-"

"Give. It. Up."

Roxas groaned dejectedly, burying his face in his hands. There was something seriously wrong with his mother.

"Now pack your cases...we leave in-" she glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and smiled, "-twenty minutes. Go, go, go!"

"Twenty minutes?"

"_**Go.**_" The usually calm, placid woman demanded, a slightly evil glint in her ocean eyes. There was a group, "Yes ma'am." and a series of salutes that followed as the three teenagers and Cloud marched upstairs. "Ah, two weeks of peace."

Shame the children wouldn't get that.

-.-.-.-

"GREASE LIGHTNIN'! GO GREASE LIGHTNIN'!"

"SORA! SHUT UP!"

"Nami! Stop kicking the seat!"

"MUM! CLOUD'S BULLYING ME!"

"You're kicking the seat! That's not classed as bullying!"

"I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY! I FEEL PRETTY AND-!"

"YOU'LL FEEL PAIN IN THAT 'PRETTY' FACE IF YOU DON'T SHUT IT!"

It would have been wise if the four Strife children had noticed the twitch that had developed in their mother's eye, but alas; they're all stupid.

"NAMI! STOP KICKING THE SEAT!"

"STOP SHOUTING!"

"I'M NOT!"

"YES YOU-"

"OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE-!"

"SORA! YOU'RE GIVING ME A MIGRANE!"

"DON'T WHINE SO MUCH THEN!"

"YOU-!"

"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT IT!" Mrs. Strife boomed from the drivers seat. Sora went to open his mouth and she glared into the mirror. "NOW."

"Mum? I think you might want to get that twitch looked at."

The look that Mrs. Strife sent in Cloud's direction was so icy that the children believed it could have very well frozen hell over. Instead of angering his mother even more, Cloud shrank back, looking much more scared than a twenty year old college student should have whilst talking to his mother.

"Sora, stop singing. Roxas, stop threatening violence. Cloud, stop bullying your little sister-" The look she shot at Cloud again squashed any thoughts of protest, "-and Naminé, stop kicking your brothers seat."

"Yes mum." chorused the four. They knew better than to mess with their mother while she was in one of her moods. It was practically suicide, and to be honest all four of the Strife siblings wanted to make it to their next birthdays.

Naminé Strife's philosophy was that she was the only girl, other than her mother, in the house, and she was also the youngest at only 14, and this coupled together _obviously_ meant that she was able to annoy her brother's to hell and back, and watch as they were blamed for things that she'd most likely committed.

It was a great policy.

Unfortunately, she was getting rusty at this, and her mother and father had both realised that sometimes it _was _Naminé who put washing up liquid in Cloud's petrol tank and switched the twins shampoo for hair dye.

...Though It was still pretty amusing, Roxas' ended up with green hair for weeks.

Sora Strife sat still for the rest of the journey, elbowing his twin in the side at any opportunity. He received one in turn, of course, but they were both quiet in a secret pact to keep their mother's temper at bay. Roxas and Sora Strife, aged 16, were fraternal twins, looking nothing alike except for maybe their slightly round faces and startling blue eyes. Their personalities were also polar opposites. Roxas completely killed the idea of a happy blond stereotype. His view on life was less than cheery, a fact shown so very easily on his way to camp. His brother, on the other hand, was a happy, non-violent (ish), cuddly toy loving boy, with nothing bad to say about anyone (much).

Cloud Strife, the eldest at age twenty, was a platinum blond with an unhealthy obsession for his motorbike. His mood usually borderline apathetic, and he decided that it would stay like that (Unless _someone_ put washing up liquid in his baby's petrol tank). He had, a few years back, decided that talking to his siblings and/or parents was pointless as they never listened and everything would be better if he lived in a world of motorbikes and strawberry ice-cream. He was, however, trying to live in a dreamworld (His family reminding him of this every. Single. Day) and he tried to make everything better by telling himself that once Cid decided to give him a promotion, he would be able to find a place of his own and live on said Strawberry ice-cream. Since earning a death glare from his own mother, he had shoved his headphones into his ears and begun listening to his favourite band, trying to ignore his little sister, who had decided that as long as her mother didn't realise it, she could continue kicking the back of her eldest brother's chair.

Mrs. Strife, on the other hand, knew _exactly _what was going on in her car; she just couldn't be bothered to bring them up on it. She knew for a fact that the twins were elbowing each other, that Cloud was fantasizing about ice-cream and that Naminé was being very irritating and kicking the car seat. She also knew for a fact, however, that they would all find Summer Camp hell. They would moan, whinge and whine through their whole stay, causing many of the camp supervisors to inevitably leave.

The best part? Mrs. Strife didn't have to listen to it.

The second best part? She was getting her own back on her kids.

Oh...Life was good for Mrs. Strife.

-.-.-.-

"Welcome to camp-" a monotone voice spoke through the loudspeaker, "-Enjoy your stay and-"

"Leon! Do it properly!" a thump that sounded suspiciously like someone being hit echoed through the field. "Hello Campers! I'm Yuffie! Best female ninja out there! I'd like to say welcome to all you lovely people, and hope you enjoy your holiday! Because- let's face it- You're stuck here!"

"Don't remind me..." Roxas grumbled, dragging his suitcase through the mud. His siblings followed, Cloud the farthest behind, headphones still firmly in his ears.

"Mum...I've decided to be less irritating...does that mean I can go home?"

"No Nami. No it doesn't."

"Dammit!"

Mrs. Strife rolled her eyes, stopping at the welcoming tent and moving to kiss each of her children on the forehead. They all wiped their heads, Cloud managing to get away with it, due to him being considerably taller than his mother.

"I'm going. You go have fun. Bye now!"

...The Strife siblings had never seen their mother move so fast.

With simultaneous defeated sighs, the children dropped their cases and looked around at their new home.

"I think we should look on the bright side." Sora spoke up, running his gloved hand through his mess of spikes.

"And what, pray tell, porcupine, is that?" Naminé asked, raising an eyebrow at her older brother. Sora scowled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Funny." He replied, his sister smirking at him. "As I was saying, the bright side is that we get to leave in two weeks."

"Sora, two weeks is ages away." Naminé answered, looking at her brother like he was an idiot...which in her opinion, was complete truth.

"Yes, but if we don't think about it, it'll go faster!"

"I don't think-"

"Well well well! What do we have here? LEON! WE'VE GOT NEWBIES!" Roxas winced as the entire of the girls sentence was shouted into his ear.

Yuffie Kisaragi, known to mainly herself as the 'Great Ninja of Wutai', beamed at the new faces at camp. Her brown eyes scanned over them with interest and she adjusted her headband before turning to Leon.

"Oh joy. I care because?" a brunet answered, his bored eyes not looking up from the magazine he had acquired.

"Do you want me to go ninja on your arse again? Because I will. DON'T TEST ME LEONHART! NOW MOVE IT." She shouted in reply. The man sighed, dropping the magazine onto the table and moving over towards the 'ninja'.

"Well he's cheery..." Sora muttered.

"That's my ear!" Roxas shouted at the girl, rubbing said part of his face. She stared at him, eyebrow raised.

"Well done, you know your face. Now what's this called?" the raven haired girl asked, pointing to her mouth. The blond scowled at her patronizing tone and glared stonily at her. She smirked back, before pulling Leon over by the arm. "Gosh you're slow. Now, I'm Yuffie, and this is Leon. We're in charge. So don't break the rules. I have ninja skills and he has a sword, okay? Okay." She spoke, probably at about 100 miles per hour, but Roxas couldn't really tell.

"Yuffie. Slow down." Leon spoke, rolling his eyes.

"Huh? What? Oh. Right. Sorry. But as I was saying, introduce yourselves!" She pointed first at Naminé, who smiled back like she wasn't an annoying little tormentor at heart.

"Naminé Strife, but people call me Nami-"

"Or Satan's spaw—OW!" Sora scowled at his sister, pushing her shoulder in weak retaliation.

"Whatever. You!" Yuffie pointed to Sora next, who turned away from his glaring contest with Naminé to answer,

"Sora! I'm-"

"Good for you. Next!"

"Roxas Strife." Roxas spoke, his annoyed tone matched by his expression.

"Short and sweet. You!" She pointed at Cloud, who was ignoring everything in favour of his music. Yuffie narrowed her eyes and walked up to him, yanking the headphones out of his ears. "Listen Mister, I...Cloud?" her eyes widened as she grinned at the blond, who was spluttering about his music.

"...Yuffie?"

"YOU REMEMBER ME, CLOUDY!"

"How could I forget...?" He winced at her volume, "What are you doing here?"

"Cloud. I'm a student. I need money."

"...Fair point." he answered, trying not to fall over as she grinned again and launched herself at him and into a bear hug.

"Do you remember Leon? You know, the dude you used to drool over in maths?"

Cloud blushed, looking away when Leon raised an eyebrow and drew his eyes over to the pair. "Yuff?"

"Yes, my dearest Cloud-o?"

"Shut up."

"...What? Oh...OH!" she tried to pull an apologetic face, but her suppressed giggles showed straight through. "Sorry."

"Whoa, whoa. Cloud! You're gay?"

Three separate pairs of eyes moved in Sora's direction, eyebrows raised.

"You didn't _notice_?" Naminé.

"What are you, blind?" Roxas.

"How could you _not _know?" Yuffie. "It's blatantly obvious!"

"Guys!" Cloud started, "I am here you know!"

...Funnily enough, Cloud was beginning to turn the same colour as his favourite ice-cream flavour.

"If you'd all like to stop chatting, everyone's meeting in the hall." Leon spoke, again in his monotone voice. "You'll be put into cabins, blah, blah, blah." The brunet waved a disinterested hand, before making his way into the tent, leaving the Strifes and Yuffie outside to argue Cloud's preferences.

-.-.-.-

"Why are we even here?" he asked, his chin resting on the palm of his hand in a bored fashion, "I fail to see the reasoning behind this."

"Because you're a freak who needs a social life."

"Oh ha ha, Reno. You're so funny."

"I know. I should take it up as a career."

"Oh yes. You'd make a perfect clown. You have the face for it."

"Says you, with your tattoos and all that make-up."

"...Hypocrite."

That shut him up.

Reno and Axel Tamashi, ages 19 and 17 respectively. They both possessed the same fire engine hair, and similar green eyes, though Axel had, for some unknown reason, acquired a slightly brighter tone. They were both similar in height, Reno being only a few inches taller than his darling baby brother and they both shared facial tattoos, and indeed wore make-up.

It was mostly eyeliner, granted. But they wore it _a lot._

Axel had been dragged here by his older brother in an attempt to "help you make some friends." according to Reno.

His quick reply was that he already had friends and he didn't need any hippies from a summer camp giving him pointers.

"Demyx doesn't count."

"What do you mean he 'doesn't count'?" Axel replied, annoyed, "That's like saying _Rude _doesn't count as a friend."

"Axel, you've known the kid since you were four. You need to make some more friends other than him."

"What about Larx?"

"...She's not your friend. She tried to push your head in the oven."

"That was ages ago, and besides, she doesn't always do that."

"It was last week!"

"Whatever. I'm friends with Zexion." he spoke, not wanting to admit that his brother was most likely right about Larxene.

"By default because of Dem." Reno replied, lugging his suitcase towards the large, very yellow, tent.

Axel was silent and settled for glaring at his brother. The older Tamashi rolled his eyes, before grinning at what he saw ahead.

"Hey Ax, look! It's Rikku!"

"Oh joy."

"C'mon! You used to love her! I saw that little shrine you madeee!" he spoke teasingly, pulling his brother's now flushed cheek.

"Reno! I was thirteen! It was a phase!"

"Sure thing, bro. Let's go say hello anyway." he answered, ignoring the growl that came from Axel after his obvious disbelief.

"Yo! Rikku!" The elder red-head waved his arm in the girls direction, grin plastered on his face.

The blonde turned her head and raised a thin eyebrow at the pair, before smirking. She skipped over, her braids bobbing on her head and the beads clacking against each other.

"Reno." she spoke with a smile, before smacking him, rather hard, over the head. "That's what you get for not calling for three years!" she half-shouted, her calm smile morphing into an annoyed scowl. "Do you know how long I waited? Paine was about ready to kill you!" The blond whacked him again, harder this time.

"Babe! Not the face!"

"DON'T I GET AN APOLOGY?"

Axel snickered as his brother paled ever so slightly, taking a step back from the blonde.

"Rikku, don't be like that, I'm sorry!"

"Be like what? YOU SAID YOU'D CALL."

Reno laughed nervously, and in a desperate attempt for help he turned to Axel, who gave him an unsympathetic look.

"Dude, you're on your own."

"Rikku, we could-"

"No we couldn't! It doesn't matter anyway, I'm over you. I found someone who actually _calls _me!" she crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.

"But I—wait what?"

"I found someone else. You didn't call for _years_, Reno! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!" She spoke, adjusting her bandanna. "You remember Gippal? Yeah, him. He knows how to use a phone. Now, if you don't mind, I have a meeting to attend. And oh! I'd watch out for Paine if I were you...She holds grudges."

The bright smile that the blonde gave the boys was almost eerie as she skipped off into the tent. Reno turned to his younger brother, face pale.

"I didn't know she was so..."

"Awesome." Axel yelped when Reno hit him, glaring and rubbing the back of his head. "Alright, alright."

"Let's go. And you better hide me from Paine. There is a reason she's called that."

Axel rolled his eyes, his brother was a real idiot. He was not going to protect him from her.

...Besides, it would be very hilarious to see Paine winning a fight against his brother.

-.-.-.-

"Oo ah, just a little bit oo ah, a little bit more!"

When Zexion Tsushimia had agreed to take his best friend to a summer camp, he believed it would be a nice calm ride and a peaceful get away from the horrors of everyday life.

...Zexion forgot that this was _Demyx_.

Demyx Mizu was eighteen, but sometimes, when the mood took him, acted like an eight year old instead. He was odd, but proud of it, and had a rather big obsession with water and hair gel.

His Mohawk-Mullet combination proof of the latter.

Demyx could be serious though, when it was needed, and that was why Zexion liked him.

Though most people were unable to work out _why _they hung around together.

Demyx seemed like a typical surfer, eyes the colour of the sea and sandy blond hair. He was the poster child for a beach advert. Which is why it was odd to see him dragging a large case through a muddy field towards a tent.

"C'mon Zex! We're already late!" He hollered towards his friend.

Zexion Tsushimia, the same age as Demyx, was the complete opposite. He read books, liked the peace and quiet, and couldn't swim. He was also considerably shorter than his friend, and sported a shade of black hair that looked silver in the right light. His eyes were a light Grey, and they observed the tent ahead.

...What had he let himself in for?

The tent was full to bursting when they entered, but Demyx managed to drag the dark haired boy towards where Axel and his brother sat. It was ablaze with conversation and shouts, and Zexion wished with all his might that he were still at home with his copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four. But, alas; he wasn't, and he wouldn't be for two weeks.

"Dem! You're here!"

"You didn't think I was gonna let Reno drag you off for the summer, did yah?" He spoke, giving his friend the customary high-five with a grin.

"You missed the funniest thing, Rikku-"

"Axel." Reno hissed, glaring a storm at his brother. Axel replied with a roll of his eyes and went to carry on, before feeling a hand landing on his shoulder.

"Hello, Boys." a sweet, yet sickly and recognisable voice spoke, "Me and Marly are gonna sit here, okay." It wasn't really a request, Larxene didn't 'request', she demanded. She smiled at the boys, sitting next to Axel, her attenae like pieces of hair bobbing as she moved.

Larxene was, to anyone that knew her well, a bitch. It kept her occupied when she could shove someones (Axel's) head in an oven, or swap someones (Demyx's) hair gel for glue. It amused her, her 'friends' believed her to be psycho, but of course didn't particularly want to say it to her face. She was seventeen, and believed her teenage years were given to her in order to make lots of peoples lives hell...you know, just for giggles. Her eyes were a sharp green that seemed to scare small children, and she kept her blonde hair neatly slicked back, apart from two small pieces of hair that stuck up like antenna...no-one questioned her motives.

Her partner in crime was Marluxia, a keen gardener with an eye for all things pink. He had died his long blond hair a pale shade of the colour months ago, and topped up each time his roots began to show. No-one had wanted to question his motives either, less Larxene broke their legs. He was known as 'Marly' to his friends, and spent most of his time with Larxene or in his garden. He sported a pair of pale blue eyes that looked remarkably evil for someone that seemed, from outside appearance, so...flamboyant.

Not that anyone would tell him that of course. He and Larxene combined were a force to be reckoned with.

People were afraid that if you really annoyed him, Marluxia would come after you while you slept and stab your eyes out with a pair of gardening shears.

So, naturally, they didn't annoy him.

"Reno."

When Reno looked up in response to the voice, he was not happy. In fact, he was terrified. The eyes that seemed to him, a remarkable shade of dark red and the hair a similar colour to that of Zexion brought fear too his heart. More than that time when his mother had caught him teaching Axel how to set fire to the tree in the back of the garden.

The eyes belonged to one Paine Lowe.

She was twenty years of age, and stood at the same height as the red-head. She had known the Tamashi brothers for a while, being a good friend to Rikku. She had the ability to scare grown men (like Reno), but, funnily enough, children loved her.

What worried Reno the most, however, is that she was a black belt in Karate.

And he had upset her best friend.

...Oh crap.

The other occupants of the table thought it safe to say that they had never seen the older Tamashi run, let alone as fast as _that._

"Right! Attention guys!" Rikku spoke from the stage at the front of the tent, "Welcome to Camp!"

The crowd ignored her, and she gave a low growl, before sucking in a large breath.

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN." She screamed from the front, "I SAID; WELCOME TO CAMP!"

The crowd promptly shut up, not knowing, unlike Reno, how terrifying Rikku could actually be. She gave them all a grin once they were quiet, waving slightly.

"I'm Rikku. I'm going to be teaching you metal work and the Al Bhed language." she spoke, "You know what's great about this camp is that it's just like school...Only I don't have to listen!"

The teenagers in the audience groaned; which Rikku promptly ignored. "You'll learn and you'll like it. Over to Yuffie." She smiled...it had the same eerie look as when she had spoke to Reno, and the whole group noticed.

"Yuffie here! Great Ninja of Wutai! I'm in charge of orienteering and other woodland based activities!"

"Leon." His voice again failing to break the monotone pattern, "Supervisor. Unfortunately, you get to whine to me about your problems." he spoke, annoyance clear on his face. "My advice? Don't have any problems."

Mutters erupted throughout the gathering, but a sharp glare from Leon silenced them all.

"Paine! I know killing Reno is fun, but you need to introduce yourself!" Rikku shouted. With a disappointed sigh, Paine let the red-head flee from her vision, marching back up to the stage and placing a hand in her pocket.

"Paine. Martial Arts. Which you will all take part in." her voice, though quite blank, held a fierceness that dared them to argue.

Needless to say, they didn't.

-.-.-.-

Riku Kisaragi was _not _happy.

It had all started earlier that morning, when his mother, having completely lost her mind, Riku was sure, had practically kicked him into the back of his older sisters car and shouted a quick goodbye at him before rushing back into the house and slamming the door.

It took Riku a moment to realise that his toothbrush still hung in his mouth, and that he still had his pajama bottoms on.

...not to mention the fact that said pajama bottoms had pictures of cows on them, with a multitude of speech bubbles that said 'Moo!'.

"Yuff?" he mumbled, stopping the toothbrush from falling out of his mouth. "What's goin' on?"

"Mum wanted to have some alone time, so she's sending you to the summer camp that I work at!" Yuffie told her brother cheerfully, pulling out of the driveway and speeding up the road in the reckless way that Riku had come to expect from his sister.

"...But I don't _want _to go to camp."

"Tough luck 'Ku. We're on our way now!" she spoke, flooring the gas pedal. Riku nearly choked on his toothbrush as the car jerked and he hurriedly removed it. "Oh! You might want to change! However fetching your trousers are. There's essentials in the bag next to you." she winked into the mirror and Riku scowled.

"I am not changing in a _car." _

"Suit yourself. I'll have no sympathy when the other kids at camp laugh at you."

"...You know, you and Mum are _too _alike."

"Aw, we love you 'Ku. We just love embarrassing you too." she answered, swerving round a corner and earning the angry honking of horns from the other, more sensible, drivers.

Not particularly wanting to embarrass himself for life, Riku took the opportunity to change. However, seeing as Yuffie drove like a sugar high child on drugs, it was a more difficult feat than it should have been.

Riku Kisaragi was 17, almost 18. He was the adoptive brother of Yuffie Kisaragi and had lived with her since he was just a baby. He had grown used to his sister's antics, and dangerous driving, long ago and now laughed in the face of death. Well, almost. Today, his usually straight, silver-coloured hair was messy and frizzed. His blue eyes were tired, and he had bags hanging under them...but he supposed, that was what you get when your insane mother wakes you up at six and throws you into a car, and quite possibly, due to the drivers lack of skill, to your death.

Most of the time, Riku was proud of his appearance, spending more time on his hair than any girl he knew and making sure every article of clothing he owned looked damn good.

Today, he knew for a fact, he looked awful.

On the other hand, Yuffie Kisaragi was happy as Larry. She had successfully embarrassed Riku, and was now off to see Mr. Grumpy-Pants Leon and the rest of her friends. The twenty year old was more than excited to start her job, and even happier that she had roped Leon into it. The self-proclaimed ninja was also more than pleased that her mother had agreed to letting her kidnap Riku to get him back for breaking her new shuriken.

Oh, this was going to be _fun._

* * *

Why hello there :)

Camp Why Am I Here, new and improved. If you read the first one...I'm sorry, 'cause it was awful. This is my re-write, literally from scratch, which has been sitting in my documents for a while, so I thought I'd let you guys read it and see what you think.

Please read and review, if you don't like bits, tell me why, If you liked it, tell me why. I'd like to hear from you guys :D

P.S This has been read by my beta, but if you spot any mistakes just tell me. :L I really just wanted to get this posted asap ;)

**DISCLAIMER: **As much as I'd like to be rich and famous, I don't own any Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy, or any other characters that you may recognise as being from said games etc. They are the wonderful work of Tetsuya Nomura, Squeenix and Disney.

~MrSpoon


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